


Two Sides, Same Coin

by cordeliadelayne



Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/M, Kissing, Minor Ruby/Sam Winchester, Sex, dean doesn't know what he's doing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-01
Updated: 2016-09-01
Packaged: 2018-08-11 22:01:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,013
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7909225
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cordeliadelayne/pseuds/cordeliadelayne
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She’s a monster and he knows it. He’s a monster and she knows it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Two Sides, Same Coin

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the lovely mzsparkles who gave the prompt “gratitude”.
> 
> Originally posted to Livejournal in 2009.

“Thanks,” Ruby says later. When the danger, if not exactly passed, has entered the eye of the storm stage. When night is turning Singer’s Salvage Yard into a maze of darkened cranny’s and hidy holes for unspeakable evil. When the word tastes bitter on her tongue.

Because she is grateful and she doesn’t know how to voice everything she feels without it sounding sarcastic and twisted.

“Thanks,” Dean says later. When the danger from Heaven and Hell has passed and he’s already gearing up for the Next Big Showdown. When dawn breaks on a brand new day and in the shadows lurks unspeakable evil. When the word tastes bitter on his tongue.

Because he is grateful and he doesn’t know how to voice everything he feels without it sounding sarcastic and twisted.

+++++

She’s a monster, and he knows it.

He’s a monster, and she knows it.

It’s wrong. And hideous. And dark and twisted, and everything that it is with Sam, just more so. Because at least with Sam she feels something more than gratitude. He saved her in ways he’ll never imagine. But she liked him in the time before. Before she took hold of this 100% soul free body, before she thought shouting and acting tough and just like Dean was what Sam wanted from her. Before she realised doe-eyed and simpering _really_ worked outside the movies.

They are too alike for this to ever work.

They are too different for this to ever work.

It doesn’t have to work.

+++++

"This isn’t _gratitude_ ,” Dean says, because it isn’t, and someone has to say it.

“This isn’t _gratitude_ ,” Ruby parrots, because it isn’t, and she didn’t want to be the one to say it first.

And then she opens her legs wider and Dean pushes deeper inside and words are even more unnecessary as he fucks her up against the wall, not caring that anyone could look down this dirt strewn alley and see them. All he cares about is pounding into her. Because Sam is alive and he owes her. And though he’d never tell her that, he suspects she knows it anyway.

+++++

The second time it happens it’s harder to explain than the first. The first time there’d been a reason. A fucked-up, been to Hell and back reason, but a reason all the same. The second time is a little too much like need and desire for Dean to cope with. At least not sober.

But Ruby’s swaying gently to the music in the bar and Sam’s gone to get supplies and doesn’t know she’s turned up. And it’s not that he wants the company, not really. She’ll only cramp his style. But she’s ignoring him. And the way she’s ignoring him is really starting to annoy him. And sure, he knows that doesn’t make sense, but he can’t remember how many beers he’s chugged down and Ruby’s female, and at least there’s no one else inside that body of hers, so it’s not like it’s really wrong…

…and before he knows it he’s grabbing her arm and spinning her round, and kissing that smug expression off her face.

The kiss takes him by surprise. He wasn’t going to. That wasn’t part of the plan. It seems like something he shouldn’t do with the girl, demon, thing, his brother is sleeping with. But his life’s a catalogue of things he shouldn’t do, so why end that now?

And Ruby’s smiling at him as she puts her delicate arms around his neck and brings her body close to his. And god help him but he’s smiling back, though there’s no humour in his eyes, just a desperation that must do something to Ruby because she’s looking at him with so much compassion it makes his flesh itch. Too much bloody compassion for Dean’s liking. But then she’s been to Hell, seen it, smelt it, been ripped to shreds and then put back again too.

And they are too alike for this to ever be a good idea.

But he takes her outside the club anyway. Pushes her jeans down around her knees, pulls his own down to his ankles and pushes into her. No grace, no finesse, just raw need. It’s what they both need Dean realises, and if part of him wonders if this is what she does with Sam, the part that still remains sober tells him to shut the fuck up.

It’s not the best sex he’s ever had, nor the dirtiest, but it leaves an imprint on his soul all the same. He thinks he should feel something. Bad at least, for what this might do to Sam. But he doesn’t know how Sam thinks anymore, so it probably doesn’t matter. They have bigger problems.

\+ + + + +

The third time it happens, Ruby comes to him.

He’s alone. Again. Something he’s getting very used to. He’d assumed Sam had headed off with Ruby to go do whatever the hell it is they do together.

He’s starting to think it’s not just sex. That sex was never what Sam and Ruby do. Not really. There’s something there that he can’t put his finger on, but every time he tries he thinks of Ruby’s soft flesh and how it feels to make her come, and he can’t think about Sam after that.

The knock on the door startles him and he reaches for a gun, aims it right at Ruby’s head as she manages to get inside. They hadn’t bothered with salt. Something Dean is starting to regret.

“What do you want?” he means to ask. Instead he just stands up, let’s Ruby take the gun from his hand, place it on the floor, and then kiss him. It’s not like how they kissed before. It’ll never be like that again. But for that instant, that one spectacular moment in time, it’s okay. Everyone is okay.

And then they fall into bed and the sex is good but not great and she’s gone in the morning but it doesn’t matter.

Some things you can’t explain. This is one of them.


End file.
